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May 8, 2010

Via Spilt Milk.


Narrator:The Bronte sisters! Super-powered English authors from the nineteenth century! They’re Charlotte, Emily and Anne! All forced to fight evil publishers to get their books into print.

(Three dolls of women in blue, red and green held by smiling children.)

(Text – Victorian England 1848)
Child 1 (holding doll of man in suit and top hat): Girls can’t write books! Hahaha!

Narrator: That’s why the Brontes pretend to be men with their super-disguise moustaches!

(Dolls of women gain moustaches)

Child 2 (holding doll of woman in dress with large moustache): We’re boys!

Child 1: Your books have revolutionised the gothic romance novel! They’re awesome.

Child 2: Well, the jokes on you, narrow-minded cur. We are women! (moustaches removed)

Child 1: What! No-one wants to read books by girls. Get out of here!

Narrator: Oh yeah? The Bronte sisters come with boomerang book-throwing action.

Child holding red -dressed doll with book of JE: Take this you sexist pig! I wrote ‘Jane Eyre’!

Child holding blue- dressed doll with book of WH: I wrote ‘Wuthering Heights’ and Anne wrote ‘Agnes Grey’. GRRRRRR. (Shows green dressed doll holding AG and scowling)

Children holding Bronte dolls: Book ’em Brontes!

(Books thrown at male doll, doll knocked over.)

Child 2: Look there’s more of them!

Child 1 (holding male doll amongst other male dolls behind sign saying ‘No girls allowed’) : You’ll never get into this club, Brontes!

Children holding dolls: Bronte sisters, power up!

(Dolls combined together to become dinosaur)

Narrator: Together the Bronte sisters wrote books about clever, independent women. Now they join forces together to become the all powerful Brontesaurus! Brontesaurus comes with barrier-breaking feminist vision.

(Doll of dinosaur with lace collar shoots red light at male dolls)

Child 1: You win!

(knocks down male dolls)

Child 1: Aaah! Run away! Help!

Narrator: Bronte dolls come with (fire extinguisher?) Remember kids! Use your brains and you’ll make history!


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