Ways To Amuse Lib Dem Canvassers:
Actual conversation I had this evening:
Lib Dem canvasser: I’m calling to ask if we can count on your support in the next election?
Me: Well, I haven’t actually read anybody’s manifestos yet, so that would be a bit premature.
LDC: Ok – are there any parties you wouldn’t vote for? BNP, Conservative…?
Me: Look, put it this way – you stand a good chance.
LDC: May I ask why?
Me: Because I’m not going to vote for anybody who doesn’t like women. That should narrow it down a bit. And when I’ve done that, I’ll make sure I don’t vote for anybody who doesn’t like the gays. And after that, anybody who doesn’t like people who aren’t white, or people with disabilities. I could carry on, but it would be pointless – there won’t be many parties left by then anyway.
LDC: [trying not to giggle] Yes, that does sound like we stand a good chance. Have a nice evening!